Just when the ScryDigital soap opera seemed to be wrapping up, Andrew Kang smashed through the boardroom’s glass doors—literally—and declared himself CEO once more, only days after his unceremonious exit.
It appears Kang took the phrase “you can’t keep a good man down” as a personal challenge. In a dramatic twist no one asked for, this morning Kang shocked investors by purchasing a majority stake in ScryDigital. With the ink barely dry on his dismissal, he swiftly reinstated himself as CEO, wasting no time in “removing the non-believers”—his term for firing most of the board. And the purge didn’t stop there. Kang turned his attention to the staff, reportedly axing anyone who dared express relief at his departure. Because, clearly, the digital revolution cannot be led by people with doubts.
“He was absolutely deranged,” said former employee Mike Anders, still visibly shaken. “He was ranting about some digital revolution and how non-believers will be cut from the flock. I was petrified!” Kang’s chaotic return has left analysts predicting further turbulence for ScryDigital.
But as for the company’s stock? Well, betting on that is about as predictable as rolling a pair of dice—blindfolded, in a hurricane, with Andrew Kang standing over you shouting about the Illuminati.