In what experts are calling “a masterclass in shameless self-reinvention,” rapper and serial name-changer formerly known as Yung Gold-Sharke has once again rebranded.
This time as Yung Gold-King, in a glittering attempt to secure a long-term partnership with luxury jeweler Gold King.
“I am the crown now,” declared Yung Gold-King at a press event held inside a suburban outlet mall food court, standing on a velvet pillow and flanked by two interns dressed as scepters.
Known for such classics as “It’s Rainin’ Crypto” , “Watch Me Flex (on the Dow Jones)”, and “Shower Me With Gold” the rapper has spent the past few years aggressively fusing finance, fashion, and desperation into a one-man branding tornado. His previous efforts to land a deal with Gold & Sharke ended in social media embarrassment and a restraining order. But now, he claims, he’s found the “real throne.”
“Gold King gets it,” said the rapper, dripping in approximately 17 pounds of jewelry. “They’re not just selling chains. They’re selling sovereignty.”
Insiders say the rebrand includes a custom diamond crown he insists on wearing “even to bed” and a single called “Crown Me Gently”, which he describes as “part royal decree, part love letter to my tax advisor.”Aditionally, an upcoming ad campaign titled “Stay Loyal to the Royal”, shot entirely in a jewelry store that had not granted filming permission.
Gold King, for their part, issued a carefully worded statement:
“We appreciate Yung Gold-King’s enthusiasm and unofficial endorsement. At this time, we are not affiliated with him in any professional, contractual, or legal capacity.”
Nevertheless, the rebrand seems to be working. Sales of oversized medallions reportedly spiked by 3% in select zip codes, and several middle schoolers in New Jersey have begun referring to him simply as “His Blingesty.”
When asked what’s next, Yung Gold-King said he’s eyeing a fragrance line (“Eau de Treasury”), a biopic starring himself as his own body double, and a possible name change to Sir KingGold de la Drip.
For now, the crown remains firmly on his head – whether anyone asked for it or not.