Well known and not so well known people.
Thursday, July 17 2025
Rapper Yung Gold Rebrands (Again) to Secure Bling-Based Legacy
In what experts are calling “a masterclass in shameless self-reinvention,” rapper and serial name-changer formerly known as Yung Gold-Sharke has once again rebranded.... Read More
Thursday, April 17 2025
Local Lunatic Replaces Eggs with Milk Jugs, Tries to “Win Easter”
In what authorities are calling “deeply unhinged but technically legal,” a local man has purchased every Easter egg within a 200-mile radius and replaced them with used milk jugs.... Read More
Friday, March 21 2025
Stare Exhibitionist at Surphaze Causes Life Regrets
Surphaze Art Gallery has always been known for pushing artistic boundaries, but their latest exhibit might just be their boldest (and most uncomfortable) yet.... Read More
Wednesday, February 26 2025
Missing Editor Found Vibing in Abandoned Theme Park, Just Needed To “Chill A Bit”
After an almost four-month hiatus, our coworker has finally been found. And you will never guess where.... Read More
Saturday, February 15 2025
Love or Lawsuit? Millionaire Sues Date for “Stealing Their Heart”
Steven B. Steelin, former Wixia board member turned full-time luxury enjoyer, is taking legal action after what he describes as “the most expensive emotional heist of the decade.”... Read More
Tuesday, February 4 2025
Millionaire Sues Bodyguard for Keeping Them Too Alive
In a lawsuit that redefines “first-world problems,” a wealthy socialite is taking their personal security guard to court for being too protective.... Read More
Friday, January 17 2025
Radio Host Off Air, On Trial
Popular radio show host Cecilia “Ceedee” Dugg, best known for her morning talk show Wake Up with Ceedee, was arrested this week after her on-air tirade against an intern.... Read More
Wednesday, November 6 2024
Wall Street Broker Fired for Dropping Rhymes Instead of Dimes
A stockbroker at Jordan Investments recently got the boot—not for bad trades, but for mixing beats instead of spreadsheets during work hours.... Read More
Wednesday, October 16 2024
Gateway Report Editor Mysteriously Missing: What’s Going On Behind the Scenes?
In what can only be described as an incredibly convenient coincidence, Stefan Laurence, one of our beloved editors at The Gateway Report, has disappeared shortly after being publicly called out on-air by none other than news anchor Robert Banks.... Read More
Friday, October 11 2024
Exclusive: Interview with littleskrunkle – The Virtual Trading Kingpin
As the rest of us were scrambling to hold onto imaginary fortunes and licking our digital wounds from the devastating NYFE crash, one figure emerged unscathed—no, richer than ever.... Read More
Monday, September 16 2024
Robert Banks Signs 10-year Contract To Voice Quantz Tech
Ever want to get more of known drug-fiend Robert Banks in your life? Me neither, but here we go.... Read More
Monday, September 16 2024
Like Lazarus, Andrew Kang Rises From The Dead To Reclaim CEO Throne At ScryDigital
Just when the ScryDigital soap opera seemed to be wrapping up, Andrew Kang smashed through the boardroom’s glass doors—literally—and declared himself CEO once more, only days after his unceremonious exit.... Read More
Saturday, September 14 2024
Yung Gold-Chain Changes Name to Yung Gold-Sharke, Shamelessly Courts Bank Sponsorship
In a move that’s equal parts genius and utterly shameless, rapper Yung Gold-Chain has officially rebranded himself as Yung Gold-Sharke—all in a transparent attempt to become an official partner with Gold & Sharke.... Read More
Saturday, September 14 2024
ViaLock CEO’s Bizarre DUI Arrest Sends Stock Soaring
In a story that could be straight out of a dark comedy, Jennifer Kyte, CEO of ViaLock, was recently arrested for a DUI under some truly bizarre circumstances.... Read More
Friday, September 13 2024
Andrew Kang Steps Down as CEO of ScryDigital Amid Kang Coin Fallout
Andrew Kang, the now-former CEO of ScryDigital, has officially stepped down following the turbulent aftermath of his cryptocurrency venture, “Kang Coin.”... Read More
Friday, September 13 2024
Gixell Board Member Harasses Club Goer with “Dance”
In a story that screams, “please no,” a Gixell board member has single-handedly set back workplace respect by a solid decade with some of the most uncomfortable dance moves ever witnessed in public.... Read More
Thursday, September 12 2024
Mouthy Employee Defenestrated At Lynxguard Over Verbal Disagreement
Wicked manager named “Oscar” arrested at Lynxguard for throwing coworker out of window. In a shocking turn of events, Oscar, the once highly regarded manager of the Lynxguard Marketing Team—famous for their brilliant ads—has been arrested following his bold (if unconventional) decision to eject an employee—literally—out of a second-floor window.... Read More
Wednesday, September 11 2024
Investors Shocked as “Kang Coin” Crashes Faster Than Your Weekend Plans, Fraud Accusations Fly
For the third time in a week, Andrew Kang, CEO of ScryDigital, is back in the headlines—this time, it’s not just for bad business decisions, but possibly for something illegal.... Read More
Tuesday, September 10 2024
BineCom CEO Calvin Crooks Divorces Influencer Wife, Chooses Corporate Glory Over Love (and Feet)
In a surprising yet oddly predictable turn of events, BineCom CEO Calvin Crooks has called it quits with musician and influencer Sabrina Longwood after a brief three-month marriage.... Read More
Tuesday, September 10 2024
Rapper Yung Gold-Chain Joins Diamond Board, Prepares to “Polish” Corporate Image
In what can only be described as a match made in luxury marketing heaven, rapper Yung Gold-Chain, known for his chart-topping hit “Slap That Diamond on My D,” has ascended to the highest ranks of International Diamond Enterprises (IDE).... Read More
Tuesday, September 10 2024
Famous Porch Pirate & Content Creator Killed by Almendia driver
Famous porch pirate and content creator JohnnyNabbs was shot and killed yesterday in a New Jersey suburban home while attempting to steal a new delivery of diapers, causing Almendia delivery drivers and customers alike to rejoice.... Read More
Monday, September 9 2024
Andrew Kang Is Yet Again Facing Backlash After Controversial AI Staffing Announcement
In a move that has sent shockwaves through both the tech industry and financial markets, Andrew Kang, the controversial CEO of Scry Digital, is once again at the center of a firestorm.... Read More
Saturday, September 7 2024
Woman permanently blinded by eye scanner
An eye-opening incident caused by a faulty eye scanner has damaged the vision of a bank worker for life. Read More
Friday, September 6 2024
Kristoffer Tuck Appointed CEO of Flatkeep Following Tragic Death of Bill Tyler
Kristoffer Tuck has been named the new CEO of Flatkeep, stepping in after the sudden death of former CEO Bill Tyler. Read More